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The Case of the Castaway Cutlery

For several years now, I have been searching for the right set of steak knives. Originally, these steak knives needed to spring forth from some mythical union of form, function and price. Some time ago, I decided I would settle for mere form and function. Suitable knives continue to elude me.

In a recent conversation with my Mom, I lamented (again) the fictional existence of these knives. To which she replied, "I thought I gave you some steak knives for Christmas."

What? Was this possible?

I thought back to Christmas morning, sitting on my parents' living room floor in my pajamas, mentally trying to unwrap my gifts... I remember a camera, some of my Christmas china, a camera, a contribution to my Oriental carpet fund, that camera... Why must my brain fail me when it comes to remembering important things like this? We probably should be writing stuff down in that nifty book of "Christmas Memories" my in-laws gave us the first year we were married.

I could not recall any steak knives. What did they look like? How were they packaged? Upon further interrogation, my poor mother showed signs of doubting her own assertion. Oh no! Two people in doubt over the existence of mysteriously vanishing steak knives would not do. This called for independent verification.

"Greg, did my Mom give me some steak knives for Christmas?"

Um... I don't know.

[pause]

Well, now that you mention it, maybe she did.


This was not the unflinching confirmation I was looking for. Especially not after purchasing an entire beef tenderloin at the store this evening, with the intent of portioning out thick, juicy filets for tomorrow's Fourth of July grilling extravaganza.

How does one lose a set of steak knives? I don't remember unwrapping them, much less bringing them home and integrating them into my kitchen. This begged another question: Did we have a bag or box of Christmas presents left over from our holiday travels lurking somewhere around the house--maybe in a closet or a forgotten corner of the basement? A cursory search downstairs seemed to indicate "no". Yet the steak knives are nowhere to be found.

Or do they even really exist?

Only time will tell in "The Case of the Castaway Cutlery".

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The Inimitable Miss M

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